Time heals
We've all experienced disappointment and heartbreak at certain times in our lives. Some are more severe than others. Sometimes they cause the kind of pain that leaves a scar on our hearts. Sometimes they cause you to have to reevaluate your life and to give up on certain plans and dreams. Sometimes the pain and disappointment can feel unbearable.
But the thing about pain.. Time can heal. God can heal.
Facing your pain can be scary and uncomfortable because you know what to expect. You know it's going to hurt. The question is how long and how much hell will you have to go through before you finally feel whole again. That I can guarantee. I can guarantee that it will be hard. But one thing that people don't tell you is that you will have good days. Some days will feel normal and like nothing ever happened. Until you see, hear, or remember something about that person and then you are right back where you were. Or are you?
Take a look back at the days behind you. Look back at your successess, your failures, all of it. It all counts. Every minute of happiness, every minute of pain, it all counts.
My mom would tell me to look back and realize that yesterday is not the same as today. And today will not be the same as tomorrow. Everyday counts. you are not the same person you were yesterday and you are not the same person you will be tomorrow. Because every day you will get a little bit stronger. It will become a little bit easier to bear. But in order to get stronger you have to first allow yourself to grieve. You have to first allow yourself to feel the pain. Every level of it. So let it all out. Have a crying session, have multiple. But realize that a time needs to come when you face reality and pick yourself up onto your own two feet. You have to make up your mind that you aren't going to let it effect your life and your happiness anymore.
I made up my mind not to let it make my days all feel like bad days. Which they weren't all bad. There were bad moments and good moments but you have to treasure the good moments. The good moments will turn into good hours, good mornings, good periods of time. The good moments are what help you to thrive, what build you back up, restore you. Surround yourself with people that love you. People that make you laugh. Take the time to do the things that you love, the things that bring you joy. For me, I prayed.
Anytime I felt my emotions and thoughts taking over I prayed. Prayed for peace. I prayed for strength to make it through the next minute, hour, day, without losing control of my thoughts and emotions. I prayed that God would cover me with the love that I was no longer recieving. Only this time, the love was true. It brought me peace and it brought me strength. The joy, that was my choice. My choice to find happiness in anything around me. But everyday was still a struggle. It was a fight to get out of bed and to face the day ahead of me because I wanted to avoid any chance of the pain. But the evenings were the hardest. Evenings I would come home and if I was left alone I would cry and cry until there were no more tears. The thoughts circling my head of what could have been and the dreams and hopes that I had to let go of. The promises that were broken.
My mom was my saving grace. She kept me sane and just kept pointing me to God. She'd allow me to cry and to talk about the pain and then say "Ok, it's time to put that behind you. It has no more control over you." I was in control of me.
That's the first step. Your choice. You can choose to learn from the pain and disappointment or you can circle in a consistent battle with your emotions. A long, lonely, exhausting battle.
I felt like I would never recover and never feel like myself again. Which I'm not, I'm not the same person I was. I am a better version of myself. One that has been to her own hell and back. I've learned lessons that could only be taught by feeling a hurt that hurt that deep. I'm redefining my life. I'm finding myself again. I'm trying to find joy and hope and creating a new future for myself.
It is a battle but its the kind of battle that I know God allowed to happen. God allows these things to happen for a reason and even though we may not understand that reason and sometimes it takes a very long time to understand, there is a reason. Just give yourself time and don't try to rush. Let the healing take its course and one day, you will feel whole again.
But the thing about pain.. Time can heal. God can heal.
Facing your pain can be scary and uncomfortable because you know what to expect. You know it's going to hurt. The question is how long and how much hell will you have to go through before you finally feel whole again. That I can guarantee. I can guarantee that it will be hard. But one thing that people don't tell you is that you will have good days. Some days will feel normal and like nothing ever happened. Until you see, hear, or remember something about that person and then you are right back where you were. Or are you?
Take a look back at the days behind you. Look back at your successess, your failures, all of it. It all counts. Every minute of happiness, every minute of pain, it all counts.
My mom would tell me to look back and realize that yesterday is not the same as today. And today will not be the same as tomorrow. Everyday counts. you are not the same person you were yesterday and you are not the same person you will be tomorrow. Because every day you will get a little bit stronger. It will become a little bit easier to bear. But in order to get stronger you have to first allow yourself to grieve. You have to first allow yourself to feel the pain. Every level of it. So let it all out. Have a crying session, have multiple. But realize that a time needs to come when you face reality and pick yourself up onto your own two feet. You have to make up your mind that you aren't going to let it effect your life and your happiness anymore.
I made up my mind not to let it make my days all feel like bad days. Which they weren't all bad. There were bad moments and good moments but you have to treasure the good moments. The good moments will turn into good hours, good mornings, good periods of time. The good moments are what help you to thrive, what build you back up, restore you. Surround yourself with people that love you. People that make you laugh. Take the time to do the things that you love, the things that bring you joy. For me, I prayed.
Anytime I felt my emotions and thoughts taking over I prayed. Prayed for peace. I prayed for strength to make it through the next minute, hour, day, without losing control of my thoughts and emotions. I prayed that God would cover me with the love that I was no longer recieving. Only this time, the love was true. It brought me peace and it brought me strength. The joy, that was my choice. My choice to find happiness in anything around me. But everyday was still a struggle. It was a fight to get out of bed and to face the day ahead of me because I wanted to avoid any chance of the pain. But the evenings were the hardest. Evenings I would come home and if I was left alone I would cry and cry until there were no more tears. The thoughts circling my head of what could have been and the dreams and hopes that I had to let go of. The promises that were broken.
My mom was my saving grace. She kept me sane and just kept pointing me to God. She'd allow me to cry and to talk about the pain and then say "Ok, it's time to put that behind you. It has no more control over you." I was in control of me.
That's the first step. Your choice. You can choose to learn from the pain and disappointment or you can circle in a consistent battle with your emotions. A long, lonely, exhausting battle.
I felt like I would never recover and never feel like myself again. Which I'm not, I'm not the same person I was. I am a better version of myself. One that has been to her own hell and back. I've learned lessons that could only be taught by feeling a hurt that hurt that deep. I'm redefining my life. I'm finding myself again. I'm trying to find joy and hope and creating a new future for myself.
It is a battle but its the kind of battle that I know God allowed to happen. God allows these things to happen for a reason and even though we may not understand that reason and sometimes it takes a very long time to understand, there is a reason. Just give yourself time and don't try to rush. Let the healing take its course and one day, you will feel whole again.
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